Author(s): Jana M. Rupnow Lpc

Assisted Reproductive Treatment Families

Three Makes Baby is a guide to navigating the labyrinth of familial love and genetic loss, grief and joy, and arriving at the beginning of new life in the end. In her manual Jana M. Rupnow, LPC, addresses the five concerns of donor conception: (1) the child’s wellbeing, (2) parental legitimacy, (3) social stigma, (4) familial or cultural alienation, and (5) communication about donor conception.

Rupnow uses three activities — surfing, dodgeball, accordion playing — as analogies for making a baby! First, she describes emotions like waves. They crash over us, we recover and catch our breath before the next wave knocks us down. Therapy is like surfing. It teaches us tricks and techniques to stay on top of and skim the surface of our feelings with grace and even see a new horizon ahead. We can survive paddling in the water but we can thrive surfing above the surface. Similarly, she compares social interaction with a game of dodgeball, getting hit can hurt! To stay in the game, you have two choices: grab the ball or get out the way! But if those don’t work, dodge, distract, deflect, direct, and detour. Finally, she likens relationships with an accordion: they contract and expand while remaining connected all the time making music that is beautiful and/or unique depending on your taste!